Perfection: I think we all have those days where we struggle with being perfect or perfection in general.
I have touched on my struggles with anxiety and depression etc.
I have always had a hard time trying to not be perfect. Perfect clothes, perfectly clean house, perfect shoes, etc.
Lately I have had far too many days where I dont feel like Im good enough. A good enough daughter, friend, girlfriend, worker, business owner etc. Sometimes I feel like Im drowning in stress and its definitely catching up with me. Be in a drop in weight, inability to be social, lack of sleep etc.
Even hanging out with good friends sometimes its hard to focus.
I came to the realization recently that my anti depressants werent working and so I switched. As many of you know it takes a while to get used to new meds so I in some ways feel as though Im stuck at square one again. This time however its much easier for me to open up about it. A has been a wonderful support system. Its hard sometimes to talk to my parents about it. With my dad I feel its small potatoes compared to his cancer, with my mom she has her business and I know that can be stressful and I try to not worry her.
I guess that goes along with me feeling the need to be perfect…sometimes I wish my parents just did not know about my struggles. I want them to see me as they always have …perfect. Good grades, honor society, AP exams, cheerleading, ballet, student council etc. I always tried to be perfect. Then in college the same. Double major and minors, grad school.
I wonder if sometimes I just should have realized this sooner. That its OK to not be perfect. It’s OK to have days where I need to just cry, scream whatever.
Usually working out is my escape but lately that has been majorly limited due to my injury.
I think I may need to get back into yoga…I felt more centered and relaxed when I went.
Enough of my rambles today. Maybe some of you can relate, maybe not but this is my blog and some days I just need to ramble.
I just have to remember I am not perfect. That is OK!
Do you have days where you just feel bleh and dont know why?